At first I hated the color but the more I look at the 2 photos the more im ok with it.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
Random AM rant
Well, lets see what I can rant about at 6:50am when I didnt go to bed until 2am.....
Yesterday at work some lady chose to poop on the floor in the bathroom then put it everywhere...that was just a fun day for me....first time it's happend at this job so I cleaned it up...I'll always do the nasty job first so the employees that work under me know I don't ask them to do anything I wont do myself. Next time however one of them will indeed be in there helping me. Every freaking job I have someone does this.....WTF FML.
I go to the doctors in an hour so I can prove to her that the body bug isn't a gimmick. Down what did I say 12-15 lbs since I started trying to lose weight...11 with the body bug in three weeks did what it took me to do in a month to lose one fing lb. I'm so much happier. Start with the personal training next week...Need to get a few massages in for practice so when we trade services she's getting my best not my practice.
So like I said I didn't go to bed till late late. I was up talking to my jr high crush Soph. We've become friends again and its been nice. He's probably the only one from home that I really talk to. I left public school in 8th grade and never really saw or talked to my friends after that. I lived in the same town but my life was at Salmon Falls. It's been nice getting to know him again. We were pretty good friends back in the day it would of been interesting to have seen that friendship grow back then. I think we would of stayed friends in high school as well. He lives out in California so we talk late at night due to the time change and its the only time he's freaking on the net....
Sam's band is playing out in a week or so, cant wait to hear them, they just keep getting better. They have a great sound and they mesh as a group. It's been nice to see them become a band.
Going to go see the "Ugly Truth" today.....yeah Gerald Buttler he and Collin Farrel are pretty much my pretend husbands....in my pretend world....I have one...LOL It's the accent, gets me every time. I was going to hold out and go see it with my daughter but I think where it's raining today I'm going to drag my husband then I'll go see it again with my daughter....yup I think that's the plan...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZylB5DIjTM got this video stuck in my head this mornin'. Love Ryan Adams....
I can't believe its raining out again....yup were back to shitty Maine weather again...my day off and it rains. Well at least I got a little tan this summer.
Blueberries....Love them. I have ate so many freaking blueberries this summer I'm surprised I haven't started turning Blue....
Hey I said this was going to be a random post.....
I'm posting some pictures I took the other day.....haven't been real happy with my work lately. Think i need to start wearing my glasses when I go shoot stuff. Oh the joys of getting older.....
I guess that's it for now.....Have a good one everyone who may come across my blog....Hope your getting more sunshine then we are. Freaking Maine Weather!
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Who KNEW
So I've been doing this body bug thing now for I think four weeks ...Im down 11lbs from when I started to lose on my own which was a few weeks before I started seeing Catherine. She's pretty awesome....so I've learned alot in the four weeks,
1> there has to be a blance between the cals going in and out....in the past I would just cut the cals and up the exercise.... well for me, because I burn so many cals in a day just at work when i include my exercise program im not eating enough.... my ratio has been burning on average 3000 - 4000 cals in a day to like 1200 cals. My struggle every day is eating enough...I think a few friends and family think this is a bunch of BS but the 2 weeks I lost the most weight have been the 2 weeks that I have been diligent about eating enough cals....and let me tell you, I didnt think I would ever say this...Its hard to eat the amount of food your surpose to eat in a day. I'm just not hungry at all. I can scoff down a bag of m&ms no probblem but put a full meal in front of me and yuck.....
2>Sleep is key...also hard for me, I'm not a sleeper. Retraining my body to sleep has been a challange. I hate to sleep, it's so damn boring....now I guess I could increase my b12, for me that increases my dream state and I have awesome dreams....down side, they are so vivid that I wake up exhausted....any who making my body fall asleep is just not natural for me...Im a night person
3>The hostess cup cake has no nutrional value..... yeah ok I knew that already, but it has flour and eggs in it im sure.....Giving up the cup cake = :( So someone said to me, buy the 100 packs of them and I looked at them and said F that if im going to eat a cupcake its going to be a cupcake not a little crumb.....
4>logging your food everyday really is the best tool when trying to get healthy. You have to know what your putting in your body and yeah I can rant about tons of useless information and random thoughts all day on the net but to sit in log in my food....OY but I'm doing it and it's working.
So yeah.......................................................
Oh I've developed this nice little case of vertigo in the past month.....not sure how it relates to all this but pretty much its there to tell me my body's not reacting to something very well....every time I lay my head down it's kind of like being at the top of the hill on a roller coaster and your about to enter the cork screw....Lots of fun! thank god I don't get motion sickness....Id be puking 24-7
OK that's my rant....I'm suppose to be logging my feeling going through this process so...this is where I am today.
Next week I start some personal training with Catherine in trade for a massage....it's works out for me because I need to get some practice time in....
Off to try and take a little snooze before work...Jenn and I did a 4.5 mile walk last night at 11pm. Neither one of us felt very well so that was a stupid move on our parts.....
1> there has to be a blance between the cals going in and out....in the past I would just cut the cals and up the exercise.... well for me, because I burn so many cals in a day just at work when i include my exercise program im not eating enough.... my ratio has been burning on average 3000 - 4000 cals in a day to like 1200 cals. My struggle every day is eating enough...I think a few friends and family think this is a bunch of BS but the 2 weeks I lost the most weight have been the 2 weeks that I have been diligent about eating enough cals....and let me tell you, I didnt think I would ever say this...Its hard to eat the amount of food your surpose to eat in a day. I'm just not hungry at all. I can scoff down a bag of m&ms no probblem but put a full meal in front of me and yuck.....
2>Sleep is key...also hard for me, I'm not a sleeper. Retraining my body to sleep has been a challange. I hate to sleep, it's so damn boring....now I guess I could increase my b12, for me that increases my dream state and I have awesome dreams....down side, they are so vivid that I wake up exhausted....any who making my body fall asleep is just not natural for me...Im a night person
3>The hostess cup cake has no nutrional value..... yeah ok I knew that already, but it has flour and eggs in it im sure.....Giving up the cup cake = :( So someone said to me, buy the 100 packs of them and I looked at them and said F that if im going to eat a cupcake its going to be a cupcake not a little crumb.....
4>logging your food everyday really is the best tool when trying to get healthy. You have to know what your putting in your body and yeah I can rant about tons of useless information and random thoughts all day on the net but to sit in log in my food....OY but I'm doing it and it's working.
So yeah.......................................................
Oh I've developed this nice little case of vertigo in the past month.....not sure how it relates to all this but pretty much its there to tell me my body's not reacting to something very well....every time I lay my head down it's kind of like being at the top of the hill on a roller coaster and your about to enter the cork screw....Lots of fun! thank god I don't get motion sickness....Id be puking 24-7
OK that's my rant....I'm suppose to be logging my feeling going through this process so...this is where I am today.
Next week I start some personal training with Catherine in trade for a massage....it's works out for me because I need to get some practice time in....
Off to try and take a little snooze before work...Jenn and I did a 4.5 mile walk last night at 11pm. Neither one of us felt very well so that was a stupid move on our parts.....
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Phew
Got my labs back and all clear minus the bad Cholesterol which I'm now working on....I have found a new love for the Odwalla bar which keeps the craving for the junk food or VENDING monster at work away....
Don't think I'll wait another four years for a physical again, just now worth the stress.
So It's Raining AGAIN in Maine, think its going to be the summer theme. My daughter was telling me how one of her friends looked up the weather on the net and New England is getting this weird wind patten thing that brings in the rain in never ending cycles. Lovely! NOT! However; it is keeping me out of the sun which my dermatologist begged me to do. Someone upstairs looking after us skin cancer people I guess....But COME ON a little sun would it hurt, I mean seriously COME ON!
Haven't worked with my camera in a while think I may take it out on my next day off and see what I can find to shoot.
Saw my nutritionist/trainer the other day and apparently I don't eat enough LOL seriously, that's my problem? Well Christ I can eat more or so I thought....I burn over 3000 cals a day in my job and for my current weight I'm suppose to eat a certain amount of food and I'm averaging 1200 cals a day. Who knew when you cut out the junk the cals would drop *rolling eyes* Do you have any idea how hard it is to eat when you don't like real food. I wear the body bug so I'm always checking where I stand calorie wise and I have yet been able to eat the amount of cals she wants me to eat with out feeling like dying. My list of foods i don't like....most red meats, most veggies, fish, hello that doesn't leave much else..... love chips, M&Ms, hostess cup cakes, I do love fruit....so yeah that's my current hell. FOOD!
So on that note I am off to put together a dinner that I can tolerate and take to work then look for something for lunch.....OY!
A new fave
Butternut Squash Fries
Cut them into fries
spray or toss in olive oil (just a little)
add
salt (sea salt)
ground pepper
garlic powder
onion powder
Toss
lay on cookie sheet (I use a pizza pan with whole for a crispy fry)
and bake in an oven at 325 until crisp
YUMMY!
Don't think I'll wait another four years for a physical again, just now worth the stress.
So It's Raining AGAIN in Maine, think its going to be the summer theme. My daughter was telling me how one of her friends looked up the weather on the net and New England is getting this weird wind patten thing that brings in the rain in never ending cycles. Lovely! NOT! However; it is keeping me out of the sun which my dermatologist begged me to do. Someone upstairs looking after us skin cancer people I guess....But COME ON a little sun would it hurt, I mean seriously COME ON!
Haven't worked with my camera in a while think I may take it out on my next day off and see what I can find to shoot.
Saw my nutritionist/trainer the other day and apparently I don't eat enough LOL seriously, that's my problem? Well Christ I can eat more or so I thought....I burn over 3000 cals a day in my job and for my current weight I'm suppose to eat a certain amount of food and I'm averaging 1200 cals a day. Who knew when you cut out the junk the cals would drop *rolling eyes* Do you have any idea how hard it is to eat when you don't like real food. I wear the body bug so I'm always checking where I stand calorie wise and I have yet been able to eat the amount of cals she wants me to eat with out feeling like dying. My list of foods i don't like....most red meats, most veggies, fish, hello that doesn't leave much else..... love chips, M&Ms, hostess cup cakes, I do love fruit....so yeah that's my current hell. FOOD!
So on that note I am off to put together a dinner that I can tolerate and take to work then look for something for lunch.....OY!
A new fave
Butternut Squash Fries
Cut them into fries
spray or toss in olive oil (just a little)
add
salt (sea salt)
ground pepper
garlic powder
onion powder
Toss
lay on cookie sheet (I use a pizza pan with whole for a crispy fry)
and bake in an oven at 325 until crisp
YUMMY!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Being Stupid
I have an extreme fear of Doctors and Dentist... I will literally wait until im dying to go to either. I make appointments fully intending on going to them but as the day approaches I find all kinds of excuses not to go.
Well.....here's a lesson for all you females out there......
Make sure you have your yearly paps
I haven't gone to the doctors in four years after my partial hysterectomy having not one but two surgeries that year and being so anemic I was looking at blood transfusions and death from loss of blood.If I never saw another doctor in my life it would be to soon. Stupidly I didn't keep up with my annual physicals.....
After not feeling good enough to scare me I sch my first appointment in four years for a full work up....let me tell you, not an easy thing for me...I tried calling to make the appointment several times and finally had to have my husband call and do it for me....my fear is real and almost crippling.
Things were going well, we talked about my weight and what my plan was, had the Brest exam (can I just say I don't even like my husband messing around with my boobs...NOT FUN) then comes the all most dreaded pap smear....now in reality it takes only a few seconds and other then a little pressure painless and after going through the partial hysterectomy and having everyone and their mother looking at my bits, not a big deal. Its just not how I like to spend the five min. it takes....Then I see her face and I know, oh shit.....
So now I get to worry for a week till the results come back....I now know that I can look forward to a pap every year like clock work (If Im lucky) if not more. I now know that it was Stupid to let my fear of the doctors get in the way of staying healthy and can now only hope that the polyps are benign and Im cancer free.
Girls, get those yearly dreaded test done, just cowgirl up and do it cause sitting here having to worry for the next few days and maybe having to deal with cancer just isnt worth it. Its Stupid, I was stupid.
Nothing like a scare to put things in perspective....
Keeping my fingers crossed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkJJ_U6uAGM
When im stressed out I always pull out Rob Thomas on my ipod.... His music just calms me....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1B-dsOtcps
I love this song....loved it when Cyndi lauper does it and love to hear Rob Thomas sing it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuxCOjoFp7Y
Well.....here's a lesson for all you females out there......
Make sure you have your yearly paps
I haven't gone to the doctors in four years after my partial hysterectomy having not one but two surgeries that year and being so anemic I was looking at blood transfusions and death from loss of blood.If I never saw another doctor in my life it would be to soon. Stupidly I didn't keep up with my annual physicals.....
After not feeling good enough to scare me I sch my first appointment in four years for a full work up....let me tell you, not an easy thing for me...I tried calling to make the appointment several times and finally had to have my husband call and do it for me....my fear is real and almost crippling.
Things were going well, we talked about my weight and what my plan was, had the Brest exam (can I just say I don't even like my husband messing around with my boobs...NOT FUN) then comes the all most dreaded pap smear....now in reality it takes only a few seconds and other then a little pressure painless and after going through the partial hysterectomy and having everyone and their mother looking at my bits, not a big deal. Its just not how I like to spend the five min. it takes....Then I see her face and I know, oh shit.....
So now I get to worry for a week till the results come back....I now know that I can look forward to a pap every year like clock work (If Im lucky) if not more. I now know that it was Stupid to let my fear of the doctors get in the way of staying healthy and can now only hope that the polyps are benign and Im cancer free.
Girls, get those yearly dreaded test done, just cowgirl up and do it cause sitting here having to worry for the next few days and maybe having to deal with cancer just isnt worth it. Its Stupid, I was stupid.
Nothing like a scare to put things in perspective....
Keeping my fingers crossed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkJJ_U6uAGM
When im stressed out I always pull out Rob Thomas on my ipod.... His music just calms me....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1B-dsOtcps
I love this song....loved it when Cyndi lauper does it and love to hear Rob Thomas sing it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuxCOjoFp7Y
Thursday, June 18, 2009
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Ok Ive facebooked this myspaced this twitterd this now im blogging it in hopes my husband GETS A FREAKING CLUE!!!!!
He's the the smallest person in the house....well Jenn's the smallest but HES A LITTLE GUY and he makes so much Fing noise....gets up is loud shutting the bedroom door, is heavy footed when he walks, knocks pots and pans around, is loud getting his breakfast, freaking talks to himself, is loud using the bathroom and LOUD coming in to say Goodbye! I mean seriously Sam Just because your up in the morning doest mean you get to wake up everyone else in the Fing house....MY GOD! I was up till 2 am chatting with Jenn and friends on line cause I knew I could sleep in this morning one of the few AM's I can sleep in......but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Sammy has to be LOUD!!!!
I cant wait till Saturday morning when he can sleep in, Im turning on lights, im opening the shade and leaving it up so the light comes in, im going to talk to him LOUDLY....his ass is getting up early!
There I vented and feel better but im still FREAKING Tierd!
He's the the smallest person in the house....well Jenn's the smallest but HES A LITTLE GUY and he makes so much Fing noise....gets up is loud shutting the bedroom door, is heavy footed when he walks, knocks pots and pans around, is loud getting his breakfast, freaking talks to himself, is loud using the bathroom and LOUD coming in to say Goodbye! I mean seriously Sam Just because your up in the morning doest mean you get to wake up everyone else in the Fing house....MY GOD! I was up till 2 am chatting with Jenn and friends on line cause I knew I could sleep in this morning one of the few AM's I can sleep in......but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Sammy has to be LOUD!!!!
I cant wait till Saturday morning when he can sleep in, Im turning on lights, im opening the shade and leaving it up so the light comes in, im going to talk to him LOUDLY....his ass is getting up early!
There I vented and feel better but im still FREAKING Tierd!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
We both have been exercising for a while...She how ever has lost 70+ lbs over the past year. She doesn't work so she has spent all her time devoted to losing weight. I'm proud of her because a year ago you couldn't even get her to go for a walk now like myself she's walk/running. Sammy and I are moving in with her and my brother in law in September.....I'll be posting lots of vid's for the humor factor.....as you can see she's not a willing participant but that will change....LOL
This night we did 3 miles...I walked the corners and ran the sides of the tracks she walked a mile did what i did for a mile then walked a mile. My plan is to be running the full track for a mile then run walk a mile then run a mile by the end of the month.
Im still heavy enough for it to bother my knees and feet but with any luck those problems will correct themselves as the weight drops off....
My sister wanted to go running with me I told her I didnt like to run until the lights (sky)went out (got dark)
#1 I get hot really quick and its cooler at night
#2 Less chance of anyone else being on the track. I have a lane I like and I don't like to share
#3 It's less noise that time of day
#4 and Most important ITS DARK no one can see you running and Im sorry but at this point no one should have to see all that going on.
Did she listen.....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
#1 I get hot really quick and its cooler at night
#2 Less chance of anyone else being on the track. I have a lane I like and I don't like to share
#3 It's less noise that time of day
#4 and Most important ITS DARK no one can see you running and Im sorry but at this point no one should have to see all that going on.
Did she listen.....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Passwords
I have so many sites,blogs,online accounts,work accounts yada yada that I have to keep a list of passwords and to add to the list of INSANE work passwords are changes ever third week....I have a standard word that I tweak for different things and work passwords are always favorite actors with a twist... like one I no longer use was CollinFarrellRocks@1, I know silly but I have the words worst memory so it has to be over the top for me to remember plus I do the dance....Whats the dance you ask....
Every time I leave the house and I have to remember if I did something like....turn off the oven or unplug the curling iron I have to do the dance....I stand there and do the hooky poky move while I sing "I unplugged the curling iron I unplugged the curling iron" ect ect.... If I don't do it, I'll get a half mile down the road and have to turn around to come check to make sure I'm not going to burn the house down....
Having a bad memory in my world can often mean Comic Relief for those around me....
I started a video blog this evening "Fat to Fit" that Ill be posting here as soon as I figure out how to do it...yeah I'm computer stupid too.
On that note I'm off to Twitter....
Have a good one....
If you twitter, check out Ashton Kutchers Twitter page, he has lots of cool links....the guys a YouTube junkie. He's becoming one of my faves...smart guy, funny guy....
Ok I'll end here....
Video up soon.
Every time I leave the house and I have to remember if I did something like....turn off the oven or unplug the curling iron I have to do the dance....I stand there and do the hooky poky move while I sing "I unplugged the curling iron I unplugged the curling iron" ect ect.... If I don't do it, I'll get a half mile down the road and have to turn around to come check to make sure I'm not going to burn the house down....
Having a bad memory in my world can often mean Comic Relief for those around me....
I started a video blog this evening "Fat to Fit" that Ill be posting here as soon as I figure out how to do it...yeah I'm computer stupid too.
On that note I'm off to Twitter....
Have a good one....
If you twitter, check out Ashton Kutchers Twitter page, he has lots of cool links....the guys a YouTube junkie. He's becoming one of my faves...smart guy, funny guy....
Ok I'll end here....
Video up soon.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Another rainy day off....
Im starting to think that someone upstairs is making sure I stay out of the sun. I was diagnosed with skin cancer last year and I havent taken it as serious as I probably should be....Every day off I've had thus far this summer has been cloudy, overcast and our pouring rain out....FML
Today I spent the day with Ashton Kutcher.....watched a few older movies and watched one Ihadn't seen yet. "Personal Effects" I have to say all tho his comedy movies are funny, I enjoy him most in dramatic roles.
IMAX just opened at the local theater...looking forward to spending an afternoon there....just waiting for the right movie.
I love movies....but....I'd really like to have a nice day off to enjoy some time out side....I'll wear sunscreen I promise..
exhausted from doing nothing....off to bed I go....
Today I spent the day with Ashton Kutcher.....watched a few older movies and watched one Ihadn't seen yet. "Personal Effects" I have to say all tho his comedy movies are funny, I enjoy him most in dramatic roles.
IMAX just opened at the local theater...looking forward to spending an afternoon there....just waiting for the right movie.
I love movies....but....I'd really like to have a nice day off to enjoy some time out side....I'll wear sunscreen I promise..
exhausted from doing nothing....off to bed I go....
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
OY Fing VEy
Ok Vent time.....
Because I think very few people know I have this blog that I know ...I'm now going to Vent my ass off right ....
So I have a facebook like millions of other people in this world....my nephew had posted a pole on his site about same sex marriage for or against....
(deep breath).....
Let me back up here a few steps....
I was raised by a pretty open mom and an agnostic dad...We went to sunday school and our mister growing up was fire and brimstone (is that the right phrase?) but my mom was always pretty liberal in her thoughts so we grew up open minded with open hearts. As my mom has gotten older her views have narrowed a bit but whatever....I married into a born again family (minus my father in law) I love my brother in law and his wife to death, they are great people as are the rest of my husbands family However...when it comes to topics like homosexuality or premarital sex ect ect....We stand on very different lines...Thank god my husband is open minded and liberal is all i can say....
Any way moving on.....
When you are in this kind of enviroment you tend to learn to hold your tongue because when someone is so passionate about the way they believe there is no arguing with them.... and its not even the argument as much as they have the right to their views but god forbid if you voice your own because they will just bring out the bible and quote phrases to prove you wrong. My response is always "That book is very old and as with everything else you need to update with the times, yes their are the basics that are fundamental (I guess depending on what your faith is) but times change, Adapt already" But I shut my mouth and let it end with them having the last word so it Will End. I dont need to win a fight about how I feel because they are my feelings and no one can take them from me.
But when you have a public page like FB and you stupidly add these family members you lose your voice all over again because you know the minute you put yourself out there there they are to stomp you down with the dang bible again or feel the need to make a mountain out of a mole hill and why all because
YOU FEEL that every person on this earth has the right to love who they want to love, has the right to live a happy life with another person of their choice in the same way as anyone else and if they feel the need to marry they should be able to do so legally, and every person has the right to experience the love of raising a child should they chose to and are fit too (my good look at how many unfit straight couples out there raising children) ...Gay straight or bi..... A persons sexual orientation should have nothing to do with who can and can not get married....
and all this frustration because I clicked YES under should gay marriages be legalized....
Oh my god Im going to burn in hell.....
Whatever....
Get a life really.....it's a stupid pole....on stupid facebook...HELLO!
I just feel bad because it was my nephew whom I love who posted it....I just couldn't let it go....
I find when people fear difference just to be well ignorant to life and the world they live in...people are different for a reason....
Because I think very few people know I have this blog that I know ...I'm now going to Vent my ass off right ....
So I have a facebook like millions of other people in this world....my nephew had posted a pole on his site about same sex marriage for or against....
(deep breath).....
Let me back up here a few steps....
I was raised by a pretty open mom and an agnostic dad...We went to sunday school and our mister growing up was fire and brimstone (is that the right phrase?) but my mom was always pretty liberal in her thoughts so we grew up open minded with open hearts. As my mom has gotten older her views have narrowed a bit but whatever....I married into a born again family (minus my father in law) I love my brother in law and his wife to death, they are great people as are the rest of my husbands family However...when it comes to topics like homosexuality or premarital sex ect ect....We stand on very different lines...Thank god my husband is open minded and liberal is all i can say....
Any way moving on.....
When you are in this kind of enviroment you tend to learn to hold your tongue because when someone is so passionate about the way they believe there is no arguing with them.... and its not even the argument as much as they have the right to their views but god forbid if you voice your own because they will just bring out the bible and quote phrases to prove you wrong. My response is always "That book is very old and as with everything else you need to update with the times, yes their are the basics that are fundamental (I guess depending on what your faith is) but times change, Adapt already" But I shut my mouth and let it end with them having the last word so it Will End. I dont need to win a fight about how I feel because they are my feelings and no one can take them from me.
But when you have a public page like FB and you stupidly add these family members you lose your voice all over again because you know the minute you put yourself out there there they are to stomp you down with the dang bible again or feel the need to make a mountain out of a mole hill and why all because
YOU FEEL that every person on this earth has the right to love who they want to love, has the right to live a happy life with another person of their choice in the same way as anyone else and if they feel the need to marry they should be able to do so legally, and every person has the right to experience the love of raising a child should they chose to and are fit too (my good look at how many unfit straight couples out there raising children) ...Gay straight or bi..... A persons sexual orientation should have nothing to do with who can and can not get married....
and all this frustration because I clicked YES under should gay marriages be legalized....
Oh my god Im going to burn in hell.....
Whatever....
Get a life really.....it's a stupid pole....on stupid facebook...HELLO!
I just feel bad because it was my nephew whom I love who posted it....I just couldn't let it go....
I find when people fear difference just to be well ignorant to life and the world they live in...people are different for a reason....
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
My new chucks, I pretty much love them. The perks of working in a shoe store...Great discounts and lots of new shoes.....You can never have enough shoes in my world. 
Today's topic.....
Taking stock and looking back to see where you've traveled to get where you are....Sometimes it doesn't make since until you get to the next place to look back....
You ever just take stock or your life…look where you have been and where you are in the moment. I woke up thinking about that this morning. I was thinking, I’m 46 years old and I'm a manager at a shoe store…how the hell does that happen. At first feeling a bit sorry for myself not thinking Ive accomplished that much in 46 years then I sat and said…WAIT…lets break this down….
I grew up in less then perfect situation and came out in one piece. I had an amazing four year in high school at Salmon Falls and was really taken under the wings of some special teachers there. I went to college for 2 years and got to study theater which I loved and took a minor in human services to shut up my mother, in the end that came in handy. All though I dropped out after 2 years. (a large campus not being for me) I did get something out of it. Worked at Kmart for a little over a year met my husband and started a family. Chelsea my first born pretty much saved me. She gave me purpose and motivation. I started an 18 year stint at CPI working in a group home for adults with developmental disabilities. I did direct care for several years before becoming an activities coordinator, which led me to coach a special Olympic team for summer games, a job I loved and did for the next six summers or so. I became a coordinator/assistant manager for multi supportive independent group homes in which time I was responsible for all aspects of a running home and the medical care of the residents living in them. I've gained a certificate in phlebotomy and massage in the state of Maine. I've been a floor manager in a hotel and I've chambermaid in hotels I've even done a stint at dunkin doughnuts which some may say “oh whoopee” but, it does teach you to work with the public and that’s not an easy feet…people are grumpy when they don’t have their coffee….LOL I've managed departments in stores and been a merch manager in a store. And last but not least I raised 2 kids and have supported many others. 've
So looking back at my life in this moment I can say…yeah I work with a team of managers in a shoe store right now. It pays the bills and helps get us to tomorrow but look what I’ve done, where I’ve been and what I’ve accomplished when I’ve wanted to or needed to. I don’t feel as bad as I did when I first woke up thinking…oh Christ I have to go fling shoe boxes today. I think what I’ve learned most looking back is that I’m not above having to scrub a toilet if I have to. My life is about those I love and doing what I need to, to get them through. Work is just something I do for a pay check and sometimes it’s very rewarding and sometimes its just a pay check. I’ve learned a lot from every job I’ve ever had and my life has been pretty interesting. On that note, I need to go get ready to go fling some shoe boxes and smile a lot…You know smiling all the time actually hurts…try it…spend all day today with a smile on your face…your face will be exhausted at the end of the day…lol seriously try it.
Today's topic.....Taking stock and looking back to see where you've traveled to get where you are....Sometimes it doesn't make since until you get to the next place to look back....
You ever just take stock or your life…look where you have been and where you are in the moment. I woke up thinking about that this morning. I was thinking, I’m 46 years old and I'm a manager at a shoe store…how the hell does that happen. At first feeling a bit sorry for myself not thinking Ive accomplished that much in 46 years then I sat and said…WAIT…lets break this down….
I grew up in less then perfect situation and came out in one piece. I had an amazing four year in high school at Salmon Falls and was really taken under the wings of some special teachers there. I went to college for 2 years and got to study theater which I loved and took a minor in human services to shut up my mother, in the end that came in handy. All though I dropped out after 2 years. (a large campus not being for me) I did get something out of it. Worked at Kmart for a little over a year met my husband and started a family. Chelsea my first born pretty much saved me. She gave me purpose and motivation. I started an 18 year stint at CPI working in a group home for adults with developmental disabilities. I did direct care for several years before becoming an activities coordinator, which led me to coach a special Olympic team for summer games, a job I loved and did for the next six summers or so. I became a coordinator/assistant manager for multi supportive independent group homes in which time I was responsible for all aspects of a running home and the medical care of the residents living in them. I've gained a certificate in phlebotomy and massage in the state of Maine. I've been a floor manager in a hotel and I've chambermaid in hotels I've even done a stint at dunkin doughnuts which some may say “oh whoopee” but, it does teach you to work with the public and that’s not an easy feet…people are grumpy when they don’t have their coffee….LOL I've managed departments in stores and been a merch manager in a store. And last but not least I raised 2 kids and have supported many others. 've
So looking back at my life in this moment I can say…yeah I work with a team of managers in a shoe store right now. It pays the bills and helps get us to tomorrow but look what I’ve done, where I’ve been and what I’ve accomplished when I’ve wanted to or needed to. I don’t feel as bad as I did when I first woke up thinking…oh Christ I have to go fling shoe boxes today. I think what I’ve learned most looking back is that I’m not above having to scrub a toilet if I have to. My life is about those I love and doing what I need to, to get them through. Work is just something I do for a pay check and sometimes it’s very rewarding and sometimes its just a pay check. I’ve learned a lot from every job I’ve ever had and my life has been pretty interesting. On that note, I need to go get ready to go fling some shoe boxes and smile a lot…You know smiling all the time actually hurts…try it…spend all day today with a smile on your face…your face will be exhausted at the end of the day…lol seriously try it.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Frustration
Me with my Grampa and Grammy Poulin
I grew up the same way I raised my kids....Family was everything. I spent weekdays after school at gram and grampa Poulins then weekends with Grammy and Grampa Graffam. Grandparents were there and you spent time with them...As I got older and went through growing pains with my parents my grandparents were still there and I made it a point to visit them, write letters when I was a way. It's what you do. I tried to instill those values in my kids but....somewhere along the way it got a bit lost. For whatever reason they just don't see that they are old and that someday in the very near future they are going to wake up one morning and not have the opportunity to run over and sit with them, or to call them or to send them a letter or shoot them an email...They just don't seem to get that when they are gone the are going to be GONE. When you spend your whole life growing up having them around trust me....you miss them when they aren't there anymore....I still have days when life is just to much and all I want to do is go over to my grandmothers and sit with her in the kitchen or out on the porch with a cup of milk and a homemade molasses cookie and talk about my day or listen to her stories of growing up. You miss it but, when you take the time to have those moments you at least have that and I'm afraid that my kids wont have those moments and god forbid should they have kids....at this point I don't even think we would have those moments with grandchildren....It just makes me sad for them..... I love my memories with my grandparents and cherish them like gold.
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