A new Life

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

places that say home to me

I can't ever imagine not living near water....It's essential to my happiness. Lake, River. Ocean as long as there is water close I'm happy.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Dealing with the negatives.....

It doesn't take much to get me there, that SUCK WHOLE place I call "Negative Nelly land". For me my biggest weakness are also my biggest strength my kids. When I see things going on in their lives that just make me want to sucker punch anyone who hurts them or make me scream...HELLO DO YOU NOT SEE WHATS GOING ON IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE It can make me go INSANE and it makes me eat cause when you have no control over things you so clearly see or at least believe you tend to Seek out the things you do have control over. My weapon of choice....FOOD

I am a natural observer, I miss very little that goes on around me or those I love and care about. When you grow up watching your back you tend to see things that others overlook or chose not to look at. It's a means of surviving....You learn to get good at it cause if you don't you could end up hurt.

One of my resolutions as part of seeking self happiness is, to surrender to the fact that I have no control over what does or doesn't take place in my kids lives...they are young adults now. Their choices are theirs to make and live with. The goals they reach are there's to celebrate and the heartaches they encounter are theirs to work through. I can support them, be there for them but for my own sanity and theirs I really need to learn to step back and Shut up and not grab for the nearest candy bar and bottle of diet soda...My medication of choice to handle my own feeling about it.

I love my kids more than anything, but if I don't step back and re-look at how I chose to deal with difficulties in my life and theirs, I wont be around much longer to enjoy the very things I love most in my world. My Kids.

That place I call the Suck Whole can find a new residence because it doesn't live here ANYMORE!!!!

A long day

So I've been watching what goes into my mouth now for six days.....Today was a rough one. When ever I go into "watch what I eat mode" I get this urge to cook....I cook up a storm...It's a never ending battle.....

Todays invention..... pecan cran/apple baked chicken. Sweet potato with a sprinkle of brown sugar and Cinnamon cauliflower and Julian cukes and carrots. I made some sugar free pudding for when I get the urge for something sweet later in the week and an egg less and no oil chocolate cake for when I feel the need for chocolate. It's insane how much food can rule your world. It makes me CRAZY. Now if it weren't so damn cold out so I could get motivated to walk..... I know I'm just going to have to bite the bullet and do it but it SUCKS.

I've been doing the Biggest Loser Cardio Max tape but I crave the fresh air.

Can't wait to get where I'm going and be LESS then my former self.

It's a ride but right now it's more like a freaking roller costar from hell ride. I hate the beginning. I hate it.

Off to go watch some Ross the Intern talky blogs, he always makes me smile. I love Ross, doesn't everyone. He's so, so ROSS.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Things that make me happy

Well Life in general....every day brings me something new to smile about. Yeah some days bring a lot of crap but it only takes passing by a little baby, a strangers smile, a door being held open for me, a song on the radio, a chocolate cupcake, a small moment shared in time....simple little things that get me to the next day. An opportunity for a good photo that always makes me happy....here are a few or mine that gave me a moment of happiness or at least put a smile on my face when I took them.......

I have thousands and thousands of photos.....if nothing else is going my way on any given day I just scroll thorugh my photos......

Other things that make me happy and the things that make me the most happy are my family. I mean really thats all anyone needs is their family and Im glad I have mine.